A contractor may use a crowbar to open up a wall. So may a vandal.

A gardener may spend time removing plants from a garden. So may a hoodlum.

A doctor may use a scalpel to cut into human skin. So may a horrifically cruel person.

The first set of people are doing those things to repair a building, improve their crop, or remove cancer from their patient.

The second set of people are doing those things to cause destruction.

Mr. Rogers encouraged us to “Look for the helpers” but that can be hard to do sometimes when the helpers and the destroyers seem to be engaging in similar behavior.

Motivations are hard to discern so how do we distinguish leaders from instigators?

Leaders and instigators share several traits – they identify and call out a PROBLEM and get others to agree with them. They both make people uncomfortable and/or angry. That’s where their similarity ends.

An instigator will spend their energy feeding outrage and taking down whatever institution or person is responsible for the PROBLEM. Their end goal is destruction.

A leader will spend their energy brainstorming solutions to the PROBLEM. Their end goal is to fix the problem.

Leaders get energized by solving a PROBLEM, instigators get energized by controversy.

Leaders can have different personalities and exercise their gift in a variety of ways. Sometimes a leader may respond in seemingly aggressive ways. I’m going to use Jesus as an example because most people agree he was a pretty good leader.

• To leaders in his own religion, “Hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.” (Matthew 23:27)
• To one of his best friends, “Get behind me Satan!” (Matthew 16:23)

Jesus didn’t pretend a PROBLEM didn’t exist in order to maintain peace and friendship. Because he understood ignoring a PROBLEM isn’t cultivating real peace or friendship. It’s fostering an environment where instigators will flourish.

Here’s a quick checklist to gauge in any given situation whether you are behaving as a leader or an instigator. A leader will answer YES to the following:

1. Am I identifying a real PROBLEM?
2. Am I proposing a way to fix the PROBLEM?
3. Am I creating a coalition of people who are capable of fixing the PROBLEM?
4. Am I keeping my frustration directed on the PROBLEM and not the people causing it? (psst…the people causing the PROBLEM can sometimes become allies when they see your solution. Leave the door open for that).

As we launch of 114th year of the GFWC Historic Brooksville Woman’s Club, we’re honoring 10 women in our community who founded things. Each woman identified a PROBLEM and built a team to solve it. By identifying a PROBLEM they inevitably hurt someone’s feelings or stepped on toes. They couldn’t make the community better without calling out a failure. And years later, the entire community still benefits from their courage.

We haven’t released the names of all 10 women yet, but I can tell you as we’ve done the research, all of them experienced controversy as a result of their work. And not all of them even approved of each other’s projects or got along personally. We get this false narrative in our head that successful leaders of the past were all holding hands and singing Kumbaya. But the reality is, for people that left legacies, they pushed through the dissension and pressed on to a solution.

Leaders leave legacies. Instigators leave ruins.

Let’s all be brave enough to leave a legacy.

P.S. For more inspiring information as we role it out about our Life Palette Exhibit Opening, follow us on Facebook .